so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
