its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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