I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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