I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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