I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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