Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
