the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
