This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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