i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
