help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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