Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
