I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
