oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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