guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
