rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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