If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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