Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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