she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
