The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
