She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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