I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
