Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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