I seem to have left my pride at pride
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Damn victory sex feels great
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
