Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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