from now on my penis is your penis
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
