Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
