Can Purell be used as lube?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
