Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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