He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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