I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
