Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
