The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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