This is not my ceiling
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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