You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
