I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
