just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
