I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
accomplished twins. life is a go
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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