I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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