well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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