Ambien. No doubt about it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
