Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
