too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
