i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
