There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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