Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
