eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
