People with herpes should wear stickers.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
