i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
