It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
