If i come over, it means nothing
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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