Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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